last day in monochrome

This is what in my head when I'm gonna wear some clothes in a half formal occasion :)

i bought the blazer in Minimal, the bag in Matahari dept. Store, the shoes is made by my friend Bucket Shop.

Mereka yang Tak Berdosa

Wajah polosnya, senyum lugunya, teriakan agresifnya, hiperaktif gerakannya, tangisan manjanya, rengekan saat mereka berebut mainan.

Tatapan pengharapan sedikit kasih sayang, kerinduan hangatnya sentuhan seorang ibu, keinginan untuk mendapat belaian mesra seorang ayah. Musnah sudah. Ketika dua orang manusia yang tak bertanggungjawab berusaha membuat mereka, dan begitu mereka terlahir, dengan mudahnya melepaskannya.

Dimana fase pertumbuhan mereka yang seharusnya terpenuhi, mereka dipaksakan untuk ‘dewasa’ bahwa realita memang terlalu kejam menantang untuk dijalani sendiri secara mandiri. Ironi.

Menjadi pribadi yang agresif dan keras karena jarang ada kelembutan yang menyentuh mereka. Manja? Mungkin kata itu yang tak pernah terlintas di otak mereka.

Mereka kehilangan kasih sayang yang layak, mereka kehilangan kehangatan yang seharusnya ada, mereka kehilangan hak pangan, mereka kehilangan masa pendidikan terbaik yang bisa mereka tempuh. Lalu tanggung jawab siapa? Pemerintah? Dinas sosial? Era globalisasi? Teknologi informasi yang terlalu cepat menyebar? Agama? Alim ulama? Para pengkhotbah? Atau apa?

Dengan mudahnya, meninggalkan mereka di rumah sakit, dengan mudahnya menitipkan mereka dan tak pernah menjenguknya sekalipun? Apakah kamu menyebut dirimu manusia? Dimana hati nuranimu? Kalian yang membuat mereka terlahir dan mana tanggung jawabmu? Pernahkah terpikir olehmu kalau kamu menjadi mereka?

Akankah kamu terus menerus melakukan hal yang tidak bisa kamu pertangunggjawabkan nantinya? Akankah kamu bisa bertanggungjawab jika memang lahir darimu seorang bayi dan kamu tidak yakin bisa merawatnya? Akankah kamu terus menerus menciptakan generasi tak berdosa seperti mereka? Ulahmu. Tanggung jawabmu.

Hitam, Metal dan jilbab

Prolog :

Ini adalah postingan ternarsis saya, hehehe. Ga ter juga sih, termasuk beberapa yang narsis :p

Hitam, saya suka hitam, hitam itu sexy buat saya, hitam itu kanvas buat saya, hitam itu totalitas buat saya. Coba tengok lemari baju saya, pastikan 75% baju saya warnanya hitam hehehe. Tapi jujur, sekarang mulai boring sih sama hitam. Tapi tetep, hitam tak kan pernah punah dari hati saya, ceilehhh apaan sihh, hahaha. Hitam itu seperti representasi dari sisi gelap saya, dari musik seperti rock, hardcore, metal, dan lain lain, sisi hitam yang berbeda, yang tak semua orang bisa menjamah jalan pikiran hitam saya, kecuali para mereka yang pecinta hitam juga pastinya, hehehe.

Tulisan ini tercetus setelah saya baca tulisannya mba iwed, dan teringat seorang vokalis GUGAT mba Asri Yuniar. Saya sama seperti mereka, berjilbab dan suka dengan aroma kegelapan hehehe. Mba iwed lagi ada proyek sama band GELAP, dan mba asri adalah vokalis band hardcore GUGAT.

Dulu saya mikir jarang orang yang pake jilbab tapi suka aroma kegelapan,tapi ternyata banyak juga ya, apalagi waktu saya mencoba nguli di Rock In Solo 2011, yang bikin ga nyaman sih, mas mas tatoan tu pada kayak bingung liat saya kerja di sana, emang ga boleh ya mas, kita kita suka musik gelap, metal dan sejenisnya? hehehe, tapi banyak juga cewe cewe yang pake jilbab dan mereka enjoy dengan acara musik itu. Emang sih, keliatannya kontras, but who care ;p

Jadi pengen ngumpulin orang - orang yg pake jilbab dan suka musik metal nih, pasti seru deh.. anyone wanna join..? ;p

when they are getting so old

They played with you, they fed when you cry, they changed your diapers when it was wet. And how about now? when the beautiful things in your child thought is so different. The past told you that your grandma was always neat in daily life, the past told you that your grandpa was so strong to play with you. But the present presents you, that your grandma is so untidy, that your grandpa is so weak and just whine to you, and guess what you do? you ignore them, avoid them even you think better not to meet them. is that what in your mind? Be wistful please :)

that statement ever cross in your mind right?

Honestly, it was the thing that cross in my mind a couple hour ago, when I think a home is really place to rest, but suddenly change into an old folks home. Oh Astaghfirullah, please forgive me ya Rabb.

So where's my care?

how ashame I am, when I told this to my daddy. He said, old people is funny dear, they're just like children. And then i remember what the best thing they did to me, raised me when my father hadn't finished his med school. i'm grandparents child, but look what I'm thinking about them. I was acting like them when I was child and they treated me so well, how about me now? i'm reluctantly giving them my best treatment. What ashame.

But Alhamdulillah I shared it with my daddy, I found the enlightment. I know they love me forever without any requisite. So I will love them back, and try my best in caring of them.

note to my self. :)

kita

biarkan bisu yang menjadi saksi

yang tak kan mencela ketika kita mulai mencinta

biarkan tenang tak mengusik damai

dari memori yang terangkai bersama

biarkan sendu menjadi tempat mengadu

bahwa rasa kita memang pernah sama

bahwa rindu kita memang pernah membara

tanpa harus terucapkan

tanpa harus tersampaikan

karena cukup diam yang menjadi buktinya

Someday I'll run my own company :D

It’s about how happy I am, meeting people, analize their character and deal with their personality. So this is about joining an organization, run it and make its existence in its world. So what’s special..? For me, make an event from its organization. When we prepare the event far away, lots meeting, lots fighting, anger, hurry, panic and lots of people expression here, something that you’ll gonna miss it someday.

I just love those things, I feel that this is my field, handling health people, not sick people :p (whereas I’m a general practitioner wanna be hahaa).

But the awful thing about an organization (not a company) you can fire people :p, you have to use your human resources properly, you have to give the desk job to the right person and you have to make it sure that the person whom you give the responsibilities can do it well, at least almost :D

And the worse is, sometimes you will be the information center of the people, everyone will ask you about anything, about making decision which sometimes you think it’s silly :p, but you know as the center point of the organization, people surrounds you have high expectation about you, and sometimes it sucks hahaa. But its ok when you love it, you can deal with it:D

Learning about leadership in an organization will make you a great leader. The situation will force you to think outside the box and make you learn how to make the best use of your limited human resource properly, and trust me sometimes it will ruin your day hahaa. So it can be a basic knowledge of making your own company, whereas handling people and knowing their each person skill is the main important ability of a leader in a company.

So with these basic knowledge, which is I get since I was 14 years old and now I am 24 years old, is enough for me for trying to build a company :D

So what’s company? Maybe a small company in clothing field would be nice, like what I’m trying to run it now :D, just wish me luck, I can make it bigger and I will say, yeay I run my own company :D

Alhamdulillah Allah gives me amanah to join some organization, thx DP, PRATA, CIMSA, SIMPO 178. It’s great experience having you all in my life J

Missing You

so what's new?

nothing, just some rubbish that i have to throw on its place

a missing thing

missing a lost memory

missing a best laugh

missing a crunchy debate

missing a great mind talking

missing a smart brainstorming

missing the small meaningful thing that I used to have

yes, i'm missing the best moment in my life with you

yes, with you pals

now, we separate in other world, other business, other stories

never be the same again

but when we meet, I hope we are not changing

my own idealism in question mark

hidup dengan idealisme masa muda? bisakah? kadang semua hanya menjadi omongan lalu, ketika umur, tuntutan hidup, realitas datang seiring banyak permintaan yang akan datang dari segala pihak, dan akhirnya berdiam diri tanpa melakukan apapun menjadi pilihan akhir

seperti dialog tadi sore, si babe "kamu sekolah lagi ya, bla bla bla bla bla..." dan saya hanya terdiam sambil bergumam dalam hati "sampai kapan saya harus diarahkan untuk A, B maupun C, bisa ga sih saya hidup dengan pilihan saya sendiri? hidup dengan sedikit idealisme saya?"

kalo membantah, bisa dikatain ga bersyukur juga, beruntung saya masih ada ortu yang bisa mengarahkan saya, tapi, nah loh masih pake tapi, artinya ga ikhlas juga kan kalo menjalani sesuatu. *galau deh jadinya ahahaayy

jadi rencananya, setelah saya GP pengennya nih, kalo belum dapet calon nih ya, hihihihi, mau mengabdi dulu, mau nunjukin rasa syukur saya dulu, PTT kek, ato jadi GP yg gratis dimana kek tanpa digaji gitu deh, kerja dulu juga kek, pokoknya kek kek kek yang lain, simpel kan idealisme saya, ga ribet, ga nyusahin, tapi dari kemaren dicekokinnya harus A harus B harus C.

I'm 24 years old lady Dad :D, why don't you let me to make my own choice, okey I know you love me, but I think I'm adult enough to live in my own idealism. So all the things that I can do right now is just writing, it's better than to debate those things :D

*sambil mencari jalan tengah

hello december :)

well this outfit is about fun fun fun :D when you just hang around with fellas or sit in the park with a book in your hand :) i called it purple hareem jumpsuit :D. Actually it's a hareem pants but, cause I'm not tall it became jumpsuit :p.

the glasses, it's about IDR 25k

I got that jumpsuit in the internet, the glasses in the market, the cardigan in the Solo Grand Mall and the shawl is my Mom's.

the cardigan is about IDR 70k

so, for me being fun in fashion is not about high price, it's about comfort and fit in you. how about yours? just share it with me :)